Conscience

So in this blog I’m going to try to tie all my previous posts together.  I have talked about honesty, being a certain age and not able to find anyone with whom I feel compatible, lying to oneself and getting naked.

So today I tackle a very touchy subject.  Conscience.  I’ve read much about this and I’ve met some people whom I believe have no conscience.  But when I really examine this subject I realize that there are so many levels of conscience, just as there are many ways to lie to others and sadly to oneself.

So what is conscience?  It’s a morality.  It’s what makes us conform to what we believe are society’s norms.  But how many of us are able to conform?  I was fortunate to have an amazing husband who not only conformed, but allowed me to not conform at times.  So let’s talk about conscience…

Conscience is that part of us that makes us stop doing what we know is wrong.  Quite possibly the word “guilt” and conscience are synonymous.  Simple yes?  Not so much.  There is this other factor in the equation called emotions.  So I would venture to say that it’s a constant struggle between what we feel and what we logically know is wrong.

I see conscience being overridden every day.  I see people who are in affairs with married people, people who use others for a quick fuck without regard to their feelings, people who put all their morality aside for a diversion, eat something they shouldn’t, indulge in alcohol and or drugs.  (Hand raised!  I’m guilty of at least some, but not all of the above.) But… for those of us who believe in a conscious and its ability to make a balance in our lives, we must resist our emotions and defer to the greater good.  I can’t say it’s an easy decision.  I’d much rather just give into my emotions and tell my conscious to fuck off.  At my age, I know I don't have much time left and it does become somewhat easier to ignore my conscious.  I hate hurting like anyone else, and conforming sometimes hurts a lot.  It's so much easier to just do things that makes one happy even if we know the end will never justify the means.

Final thoughts.  Your conscious is not black or white.  There are many shades of gray.  I must forgive those whom I believe have no conscious or very little.  They may very well be far ahead of me in learning this lesson and have accepted it and maybe even conform sometimes.  I have often ignored my conscious, but I suppose that just makes me a human with human frailties.  So forgive me for judging when I had no right.  I do wish that all my friends would think about those times when your desires overcame your conscious.  Was it worth it?